The Happiest Little Place on Earth

Owner Troy Carlson is flanked by a portrait of his speakeasy’s namesake and inspiration, explorer Elias Hawthorne, and an animatronic tiki totem named Magma.

If you’re a grown-up Mouseketeer of a certain age, you may have fond memories of Walt Disney World’s wildly improbable yet utterly magical Adventurers Club, where safari-helmeted explorers greeted you with cries of “Kungaloosh!” and invited you to travel back in time to 1937—all while enjoying an adult beverage or two. Sadly, this glorious fever dream of a nightspot closed in 2008. But if your inner adventurer has been in mourning ever since, you’re in for a cool treat this summer, with the opening of a new underground speakeasy in Old Sacramento. Occupying a vault-like, 300-square-foot space (that’s about the size of a one-car garage) in the historic “What Cheer House” building, Hawthorne’s Hideout might just be the world’s smallest theme park.

After you score a reservation, you’ll spend your two-hour time slot inside this club that seats up to 21 guests and really feels more like a Disney attraction than a bar, heavily reminiscent of the Enchanted Tiki Room, but entirely original in its own way. Getting into Hawthorne’s is half the fun. Pull the front door handle, and it’ll reveal a brick wall that will only groan open with stone-on-stone sound effects after you wave a medallion to the left of the door.

This unique, diminutive boîte, which launched on Aug. 1, is tucked into a corner of the basement of the vast pop-culture-themed emporium Stage Nine Entertainment—itself home to one of the largest authorized Disney Fine Art galleries in the country—and springs from the imagination of Stage Nine owner and impresario Troy Carlson. While Disney has the trademark on the job title of “Imagineer,” Carlson—as a longtime Disney gallerist and personal enthusiast (he even interned at Disney University in college)—is probably one of the only people in the world perfectly positioned to create something resembling a slice of the Magic Kingdom outside of the official empire. (Small world: Artist Shane Grammer, a former Imagineer and Roseville resident, helped create the crafty magic you’ll experience in Hawthorne’s Hideout, including carving concrete to look like petrified tree trunks or brick walls or stone arches.)

One of Johnny Depp’s rum bottles from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (pictured encased in a glass dome) is among the authentic artifacts on view at Hawthorne’s Hideout.

Once inside, your eyes will adjust to a dark, jungly subterranean scene teeming with movie memorabilia. “Everything is touchable,” Carlson says. “And most things are moveable.” So if you want to wear that safari helmet for the evening, go for it. Some decorations are authentic, like a faux mounted zebra head outside the entrance that used to hang inside the Adventurers Club, a skeleton from the Indiana Jones  section of The Great Movie Ride at Disney World, or one of Johnny Depp’s rum bottles used in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. An accompanying Jack Sparrow voiceover was recorded by Bill Farmer, the official voice of Goofy for nearly 40 years, who also voices Santa and Mark Twain in Old Sacramento’s holiday Theatre of Lights show—another Carlson production. Still other props are fancifully recreated, like a Star Wars  lightsaber, Thor’s hammer, Frodo’s ring from The Lord of the Rings, or Wilson the volleyball from Cast Away.

But then there’s our favorite: an illuminated, plexiglass window in the floor, a small glimpse into the Gold Rush-era relics that were—genuinely—found during the room’s excavation. To “plus” the tiny display, as Walt Disney used to say, Carlson tucked in a replica of the Golden Idol from Raiders of the Lost Ark  amongst the artifacts. It really captures the blending of history and fantasy. “We saw what happened to Indy when he tried to move the idol,” Carlson deadpans, referring to that famous opening scene in the film, in which a giant boulder chases Harrison Ford as he narrowly averts death while racing through a tunnel. “So we’re going to leave it where it is.” Just don’t be surprised if you feel a quick puff of wind at the back of your neck as an invisible “poison dart” flies by. Don’t worry, you’re perfectly safe. No, really, you are. Probably. Maybe.

Carlson “plussed” the floor décor with a replica of the Golden Idol from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

On the wall as you enter hangs a portrait of the bar’s fictional namesake, the late Elias Hawthorne, a dashing gray-bearded figure (the name is a nod to Walter Elias  Disney). “Elias Hawthorne lived in Sacramento from the 1870s to 1950. He traveled the world and had all types of adventures,” says Carlson. “And in this room, we found things he collected from all of his trips to Polynesia, Africa [and elsewhere]. He was a gold miner, a scuba diver. He skied the Sierras. He climbed mountains.”

If Hawthorne looks like an eerily perfect mash-up of Clint Eastwood and Ernest Hemingway, that’s because his image is AI-generated to personify the quintessential explorer. And hey, wait a minute, did that portrait just wink? Hmm. Maybe so. Pick up the receiver of an antique wooden rotary telephone affixed to a wall, and Hawthorne himself will regale you with tales of his swashbuckling exploits. 

As you settle in, a costumed master of ceremonies will introduce you to a pair of cheeky sidekicks—two animatronic, talking tiki totems named Magma and Tika. If you’re a sucker for the corny (in a good way!) humor of Disney’s Jungle Cruise ride, these characters will tickle your nostalgia bone. “Why did the coconut go to a therapist?” asks Tika. “Because he was feeling a little nutty!” Ba-da-bum!

Hawthorne’s explosively colorful TNTea cocktail

Magma sets the tone for this dinner and a show. “I want to hear all about the wildest parts of your journeys, dear explorers,” he says. “The flames of your adventures. The daring feats you’ve accomplished. Don’t leave anything out!” Soon enough, you’ll be standing with your right hand on top of your head and left index finger on the tip of your nose reciting the Explorer’s Oath.

But since this is a bar, not a ride, you’ll be free to wander, mingle and perch on seats acquired from boats and aircraft, or lounge on an authentic vintage ski lift chair from Tahoe’s Sugar Bowl (Walt Disney was an early investor in the resort), while ordering fanciful cocktails with names like Lava Flow and River’s Rising, created by the mixologists at the nearby Back Door lounge and delivered with theatrical fanfare and special effects (be prepared for detonation when ordering the drink named TNTea). Fun bites of globally themed fare include sweet-and-sour Kyoto Ember chicken skewers and Molten Isles fries topped with kalua pork and spicy mayo. Be sure to save room for the Dole Whip, Disney’s famed pineapple soft-serve dessert that happens to have been invented by UC Davis alum Kathy Westphal.

If this feels like your kind of club, know that you’ll collect a new pin with every visit and be fêted with a special ceremony once you have collected all eight. (The $95 per-person admission price includes the immersive 90-minute show, two cocktails, a Dole Whip and a lanyard for your pins. Hawthorne’s Hideout is also available for private parties.) In the meantime, raise a glass of Lava Flow on high and join Magma and Tika in the incantatory signature house toast, letting go with a lusty cry of “Kungaloosh!”